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>>You're Going To Die A Virgin
>>Santa Claus Is A Bad Idea
>>Mommy's Dirty Little Secret
>>Severely Chapped Lips
How come every time I get severely chapped lips, I bite the skin off? This happens every year and each time I think my dry lips will be fine if I just bite that one little annoying skin flap off. Ten minutes later my lips are bleeding and it looks like I made out with a blender. Why do I continually fall for it? I should know by now that biting them off is not the answer.
It’s kind of like when you convince yourself that letting one go isn’t going to smell that bad and no one will notice. Someone always notices and then you have to play dumb. I solve that problem by my world renowned “drive-by gassing” where I let one go while walking by a group of people so no one knows it’s me. Since I’ve already gone down the toilet humor route, I might as well keep going. I never really thought about the term “party pooper” much until today. Have you ever spent a great deal of time contemplating the phrase? I highly suggest it.
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2 Comments to "My Lips Are Severely Chapped"
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[…] enjoy. >>You’re Going To Die A Virgin >>Santa Claus Is A Bad Idea >>Mommy’s Dirty Little Secret >>Severely Chapped Lips Nothing makes a bad day even worse than climbing into your car after work and getting a big whiff […]
buy some fucking chapstick bitch!