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In today’s world, technology is all around us. Anyone who has ever used a computer can tell you how frustrating it is when they don’t do what you want them to do. Sometimes it’s hard to diagnose the problem because it can stem from any number of possibilities. One of the fastest growing problems IT professionals are facing today is the “Gay Computer.” Unlike a virus which can be easily detected with up to date virus scanning software, this particular symptom creeps up slowly on the user. Even when the signs are there, most users are in denial. No one wants a Gay Computer. That’s why I have developed a checklist to assist you in recognizing if you have a Gay Computer and what you should do if you find out you have one.
Gay Computer Checklist (If you answer “Yes” to two (2) or more of the following questions, your computer is probably gay and you should take it to your nearest professional to confirm)
1. Do you find that your computer spends an abnormal amount of time looking at gay porn?
2. Does your computer seem to have excessive amounts of “Pop-ups”?
3. Is your computer’s desktop clean and tidy?
4. Does your computer have any special skins or themes applied?
5. Has your computer ever been to clownpenis.org?
If you find out you have a Gay Computer, the most important thing to do is not panic. You will need to remain calm for both your’s and the computer’s sake. Don’t worry! All you need to do is run the Disk DeFAGmenter! In just a few clicks you will have a straight computer again.
Don’t believe the Disk Defagmenter works? Just read these testimonials:
The Daily Downer,
I went through your checklist and found out my computer is indeed gay. It kept asking for me to repetitively insert my “4 1/2 inch floppy” in the Fatherboard. After crying for a few nights I decided to take its sexuality into my own hands and perform the Defagmenter. Now my computer is straighter than ever! Thanks!
-Ron T. Age 23
The Daily Downer,
Hey! Just thought I’d send you a quick email to express my thanks for your guide. You see, I kept finding myself in gay chat rooms trying to pick up a date when I realized it was my computer’s fault! Now I’m back to the teen chats, straight teen chats that is. You’re a lifesaver.
-Earl P. Age 54
The Daily Downer,
What up playa? Thanks to you my computer’s so straight it requires a hot chick “turn it on”. My computer wanted me to tell you, “You iz da man!” and it means that in a straight way.
-Brian S. Age 21
So, as you can see the Disk Defagmenter does work and if you know someone gay, try the Person Defagmenter! Two great products, one great outcome!
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