The Daily Downer

Don’t Get HDTV

Hal F Emtee — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 06:01:32 +0000

HDTV is so much better than normal TV. In fact, HDTV is so much better than normal TV that I can never go back to watching sporting events in lowly 480i or p or whatever that means and that’s the problem. Now I have to pay $12 extra a month to get my 15 HDTV channels. I was perfectly happy with the channels I had before but now that I have 15 awesome channels in HD, I have 200 others that I can’t stand to watch anymore. (more…)

Jet Lag Is More Fun Than Your Life

Hal F Emtee — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 06:01:05 +0000

I’m many things but nice isn’t one of them. In fact, if you thought I was a jerk before then you should see how I act with bad jet lag. Yes, this means I’m back from Australia. For the people who didn’t notice I was gone, I didn’t notice you didn’t notice. Don’t ask how my trip was because I know you care about as much as the rest of us do if you wake up tomorrow. Regardless, I’ll probably write a few posts about it when I stop feeling like a zombie. (more…)

Life As We Know It Sucks

Hal F Emtee — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 02:07:57 +0000

Compared to history, life now doesn’t seem like an interesting time period. There aren’t a lot of things going on that I would call fascinating. I think historians will skip over this time period in history books as Chapter 27: Not That Important, Please Turn To Chapter 28. (more…)

Going To Australia

Hal F Emtee — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:01:44 +0000

Hey mate, I’ll be traveling to Australia pretty soon. When I’m not throwing shrimp on the barbie and drinking beer, I’ll be watching how the toilet water spins the opposite way. Most people going to Australia would be excited but not me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably have a mediocre time seeing famous sites and having an experience of a lifetime but probably not. (more…)

Don’t Be Yourself

Hal F Emtee — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 06:01:36 +0000

Just because something is popular, it doesn’t make it true. People used to think the earth was flat and that Carlos Mencia was funny. On second thought, no one ever thought he was funny. Anyways, people are told that you should “be yourself.” Nothing could be further from the truth. You either play the game or you make pottery and live in poverty. (more…)

When A Free Ringtone For Your Cellular Phone Is Bad

Hal F Emtee — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 06:01:35 +0000

I hate my cellular phone. I have this old and half-broken cell phone that works just good enough to not get replaced by a new cell phone model. The thing that annoys me the most about it is not the cracked screen, the sticky keys, or even the bulky size that looks obscene whenever I put it in my pocket. No, the biggest problem with my cellular phone is that I can’t figure out how to change the free ringtone I downloaded back in 2002. You can only listen to “Roll Out” by Ludacris so many times before it gets to be embarrassing in public. (more…)

Stop Leaving Babies In The Car

Hal F Emtee — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 06:01:31 +0000

Nothing makes me more mad than hearing about a baby being left in a car. You’d think by now, after hearing about it God knows how many times on the nightly news, parents would stop being stupid. News flash: Leaving your baby in the car is dangerous. You might want to consider not risking your babies life for a few minutes of convenience. (more…)

When Farting Goes Wrong

Hal F Emtee — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 05:01:50 +0000

Nothing makes a bad day even worse than climbing into your car after work and getting a big whiff of a smelly fart you made before getting out in the morning. I didn’t really think too much about it when I farted but surely it wouldn’t linger for hours, right? WRONG. (more…)

Dumb Criminal Minds

Hal F Emtee — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 05:01:56 +0000

One thing that’s always been funny to me is how dumb some criminals are. I am by no means advocating crime but if you are going to be a criminal, why wouldn’t you do something only if it was worth your while? Far too many people go to jail over meaningless criminal acts such as stealing $70 from a cash register. Mr. Criminal, you’ve got to be kidding me. You’re going to risk jail time with Bubba, sacrifice all the time you could have been working (making a lot more than what you stole), and limiting future career options for a whopping $70? Maybe you deserve to be in jail. (more…)

Halloween Is Here

Hal F Emtee — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:01:16 +0000

Halloween. The day that goths actually fit in and a girl can dress up as a dirty mommy without being labeled. What is it about Halloween that makes people so excited? I get no joy out of buying candy just to turn around and hand it out to strangers dressed up in cheap costumes. I don’t give in to terrorist threats of “Trick or Treat.” Try to trick me, kid. I’m smarter than a fifth grader. (more…)